LAPD Wife

Tragedy Affects a Nation - and a Child

I typically watch the news in the early morning hours before the kids get up for school and then turn it off when they wake up. As the wife of a police officer I am very careful about what the kids see in the media - all too often the lead stories scream headlines of "officers ambushed," "police killed," and so forth. (For more on that, see Cop the Truth's post Four More Washington Officers Ambushed and Murdered.)

My daughter is 6, my son is 9. My son is becoming aware of the dangers of his father's profession. He's interested in the military and watches the History and Military channel shows with his father. He's started to ask questions and we can see the wheels spinning in his head about his father's job. We are trying to be as honest and open as we can, while also tempering the scary truth with sensitivity for his young outlook on life. I don't want to take away his innocence too soon and let him know that it's possible his father can be killed by some POS who sees a uniform as a target.

My daughter, however, is still in that stage where all she thinks Daddy does is help lost kids, keep bad guys away and come to school once in awhile to talk to her class about safety and strangers and maybe handcuffing her teacher for laughs. She dances around the house in her ballet uniform and says she's going to marry her Daddy someday.

This morning, however, she snuck out of bed early and into the kitchen where I was packing their lunches and watching the news about the horrible tragedy in Washington. I had left the room for one minute - kid you not - one minute, and come back to hear her sounding out the words (she's learning to read and phonetically sounds out every sign, word or writing she sees) "Four Off-Cers Killed To-Day." It was like one of those slow motion moments as I thought "crap!" to myself and lunged for the remote.

Too late, I saw that the words she was playfully sounding out had sunk in. She looked at me questioningly and asked if she had read that right. "Yes," I told her, accepting that the cat was out of the bag and sitting down next to her and drawing her into my lap.

"Why are there 4 police dead, Mom?" she asked. I explained to her that Daddy was ok (he was at work at the time) and that these officers, who lived far away, had died because a very bad man had made a very bad decision and left it at that. I told her that these officers were now in heaven and continuing to protect people like guardian angels and God was happy to have more help.

She cuddled with me for a minute, looked up at me with those Bambi eyes and said she hoped their Mommies are ok. I tried not to cry and suggested that maybe we can make a card for their families and she like the idea.

Luckily the clock was ticking and we had to get ready for school. In all the hustle and bustle I forgot about that moment until after I had left them at school. I have to go pick them up in a little while. Will she remember this morning and ask me more? She may not - attention spans at this age are pretty darn short. But I will watch her and try to be ready.

Tragic Day Epitomizes a Police Wife's Fears

People ask me what my big fears are for my officer husband. Targeted attacks like this top the list.

My heart hurts. 

Police Officers Killed in Washington 

Jack Dunphy on Chief Beck

Jack Dunphy has been writing over at the Pajamas Media blog - lately about newly installed LAPD Chief Beck. Here are his latest two articles - a perspective from a longtime officer I always find worth the read.

LAPD Chief selection

LA's new Top Cop

Cell phone harassment

One of our friends, Mark, called this weekend and asked for Officer Jake. Mark and his wife Michelle are good friends of ours who we socialize with often. They have 3 daughters, the younger are friends with our kids and their teenage daughter is one of our babysitters. However,  when Mark called and asked for Joe, the way and tone he did so made me realize that this was one of "those" calls. I can always tell when friends call for help of the law enforcement kind - there is a different tone of voice and I've gotten very good at reading it.

So I handed the phone to Jake with a whispered "sounds like a serious help call" to him. Within a few minutes of talking, Jake switched from joking friend type conversation to serious, get-down-to-business conversation and left the room to discuss whatever they were talking about away from the listening ears of the kids.

Our friend's 14-year-old daughter had been getting obscene phone calls on her cell phone. The caller, who sounded like a male in his teens or 20s, saying things like "I want to have sex with you," or commenting on how hot she looked that day, how sexy she was, all sexual in nature. The caller ID was blocked, and though the girl's parents told her not to answer blocked  calls, she had several friends who also showed blocked numbers so often picked up the calls anyway.

Our friend Mark reached the breaking point when, as the caller was again bothering his daughter, she handed the phone over to her Dad who threatened him to stop calling and harassing his daughter. The called was so bold as to tell him that he thought his daughter was hot and planning on having sex with her. Mark saw red and called Jake.

Jake was very sympathetic. We have a daughter and this is a fear of a father, for sure. He gave advice to Mark such as 1) don't answer any blocked calls no matter what. 2) make a report to the local station. 3) get a new cell phone number asap.

They followed his advice and thankfully the calls stopped. But as far as trying to track down this harasser, there wasn't much to be done. If they were able to find out who the caller was, and prove it - which is unlikely - the most they can charge him for is a misdemeanor child annoyance. Phone companies will not backtrace a blocked call without search warrants, etc.

Even though the calls have stopped, Jake has cautioned our friends to let this be a lesson and still be aware. He says that often the harasser is someone they probably know, or close to someone they know. A friend's brother, father, relative. Or a friend of a friend who was able to get her number - pretty easy with teenagers who are socially active, in sports and not very aware of protecting their privacy.

They are being much more cautious, and Jake talked to the daughter too, giving her advice and cautions to follow. We hope that some of it sank in. At 14, you feel indestructible, but it's just not true. A good lesson for all of us.  

It's Official: New LAPD Chief Charlie Beck

The Los Angeles City Council officially - and unanimously - approved the appointment of Charlie Beck to the position of Chief of the Los Angeles Police Department today. Not a surprise, but one more step that ends the process of being chosen and marks the beginning of his leadership of this city's police department.

Chief Beck was accompanied by wife Cindy and other members of his extended family as he was sworn in by Mayor Villaraigosa. In an article for the LA Times, Beck was quoted as saying that his top goal was to extend the reforms begun by Bratton and move them down into the rank and file of the department. He said he would concentrate on continuing reforms Bratton introduced into the mind-set of the thousands of officers who are the heart of the organization.

"Now is the time to push down into the patrol cars," Beck said of the reforms, adding that this effort would be the "hallmark of my leadership." In interviews, Beck said he planned to give greater authority to the captains who run the department's dozens of field stations.

Trees for Troops

Still filled with gratitude and thanksgiving as the holidays swoop down on us? Here's another great cause I recently discovered for supporting the military during the Christmas season - Trees for Troops. This non-profit organization delivers Christmas trees to families of military personnel who can't afford them and who have family members currently deployed.

Last year, Trees for Troops delivered over 17,000 trees to 53 bases (2 overseas). The organization is supported by donations, voluteers, farms and businesses who give time, trees, money and more to make sure that the families of our active military have a bit more cheer in their homes every Christmas.

Veterans Day - Support Our Soldiers

Flags are flying everywhere today and our thoughts turn to both those who have served our country in the past and in the present. I have two nephews who are in the Marines, my brother-in-law recently retired from the 101st Airborne, my father-in-law served in the Korean war and there many more I could mention. I am thankful, very very thankful for their sacrifices, their love of country and all that they do to keep our country safe and give us the chance to continue to thrive in this great country.

Today is a good day to also think about how we can show our support beyond just a few words on the internet. Cop the Truth has a good post about sending care packages during the holidays. Think about this early, folks, you can't wait til Dec 23 to get it there in time.

I've also listed a few other organizations I'm familiar with that give us opportunities to show our support for the troops. If you would like to recommend any others, please leave their info in the comments section. Thank you.

Cop the Truth: Support Our Troops this Christmas

Cell Phones For Soldiers: Cell Phones for Soldiers was founded by teenagers Robbie and Brittany Bergquist from Norwell, Mass., with $21 of their own money. Since then, the non-profit has raised almost $2 million in donations and distributed more than 500,000 prepaid calling cards to soldiers serving overseas.

Operation Gratitude: This organization seeks to lift morale and put smiles on faces by sending care packages addressed to individual Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines deployed overseas. Operation Gratitude care packages contain food, hygiene products, entertainment items and personal letters of appreciation, all wrapped with good wishes of love and support.

Huh? Hand Sanitizer Misuse

Here's one I would have never thought of on my own. It's flu and cold season and I've stocked up on the hand sanitizers for my car, purse and to send with my kids to school. We do what we have to do to protect ourselves from the rampant germs this time of year brings. (Right now my son is home sick from school as I write this with a bad chest cold and heavy cough).

Hand sanitizers have gotten very sophisticated as they've grown in popularity. You can get everything from a 99-cent clear, unscented version at your local drugstore to a grapefruit and melon-scented, moisturizing beads included, glittery designer-type at Bath & Body Works at the mall. (A personal favorite store of mine).

But here's something I didn't think I needed to worry about. I read today that since hand sanitizers often contain a high volume of alcohol that there is now "hand sanitizer misuse" similar to the old Nyquil Smoothies of past years. Yes, somewhere out there, a misguided person is chugging hand sanitizer. Makes me gag to think about it, but with an often 60-percent alcohol content it becomes more seducative to those looking for an illicit high.

One more thing to warn your kids about. "Honey, rub it on your hands.... DON'T drink it!"

LAPD Chief Charlie Beck

Officer Jake called me this morning as I was dropping off the kids at school to let me know that Charlie Beck has been chosen as the next Chief of the Los Angeles Police Department. The mood is good at work, as he was a favored choice of the rank-and-file. Law enforcment is a family affair for Beck, his father, his daughter and his son all have or had careers in law enforcement and he himself has served 32 years on the force.

Chief Beck is respected by many of the rank-and-file, has a tough stance on crime and believes strongly in building strong community relations between the department and the people it serves. He's got a big job ahead of him, but has alot of experience heading up big projects and leading within the department. The blog WitnessLA has a really good breakdown of the three candidates and more info about Beck: Choosing the Chief: THIS IS IT!  (interesting tidbits, too, like he's a champion motorcross racer - go figure!)

Like I said, I'm also curious about Mrs. Beck. Jake just hit 20 years and it's been a long road. How would you feel if your husband was 32 years on the job and THEN was appointed Chief of Police for the LAPD? I'm betting her story is a good one to hear. If anyone knows any info about contacting her, etc, please let me know, I'd really love to hear her perspective.

And the new LAPD Chief is...

Word is that the new chief will be announced tomorrow morn at 11 a.m. I'm kicking myself for not starting a virtual pool or something. I asked Officer Jake if there were any at work and he just gave me a mysterious smile and wagged his eyebrows at me. Very coy...

All three candidates have been top of mind in the media today. Every time I turned on the news I saw one of them either entering or leaving the mayor's residence as he interviewed them all again. I'm guessing this means that the running is very close and the decision a very hard one. I'm sure it is - this is a job that will immediately demand much of the person who fills it.

The new LAPD chief must be tough on crime and media-savvy. They have to perform miracles daily and cultivate the respect of the rank-and-file, all while keeping an eye on the big picture of continuing to improve on the record of the LAPD and finding ways to expand our force and keep it the top notch department that it is during these tough economic times.

Piece of cake, right?

Unlike when a new SCOTUS is chosen, the candidates' wives haven't received much - if any - media attention. Understandable, but as for me, I will be curious to know more about the woman behind the man who will be leading our 10,000 men and women in blue. Her job won't be easy either.