Restless Nights with an Officer

Sleeping with a police officer can have many surprises. No, this post isn't about fuzzy handcuffs or "other" scenarios. It's about actually sleeping, or NOT sleeping, with a police officer.

Some people have to deal with loud snorers or insomniacs when they cohabitate a bed with a loved one. Those of us married to police officers get even more fun to deal with. During our decade and a half of sleeping together, I've had to deal with Jake's insomnia, nighttime migraines, "jimmy legs," startle reflexes and more.

Insomnia is a common problem with law enforcement. It's a well-known side effect stemming from post-traumatic stress, something commonly experienced by officers at some point during their career. And the non-traditional work shifts, combined with rotations between these shifts during an officer's career don't help a man or woman develop normal sleep habits. Add in kids and you've got some pretty sleep-deprived people.

Jake had a bad car accident on duty early in our marriage that hospitalized him with, among other injuries, some pretty bad head trauma. A lasting effect from this injury has been severe migraines that hit him pretty regularly. And for some reason, they come mostly late in the afternoon or at night. He'll go to bed feeling fine and wake up practically screaming with pain. Migraine sufferers know, there's not much you can do but tough it out. I try to do what I can, but often I end up sleeping in the guest room on nights like this, letting the migraine run its course.

Then there are the times that Jake startles awake or gets a kind of restless leg syndrome thing going when times are especially stressful, hours are long, etc at work. We got a California King bed a few years ago, so it gives me the room to not be bothered too much by that. If we were still in a Queen, forget  about it.  

Jake gets mad/jealous of how easily and quickly I can fall asleep after waking up during the night or when we go on long drives. I explain to him that it's a well-honed survival skill, because if I couldn't, between him and the kids, I'd be a total mess.

Comments

[Cliff]

Renee,it's like I'm writing this. We have a king also, THANK GOD! When we first moved in together in my tiny condo in NOHO we had a queen,and that was tough.I ended up sleeping on the couch most of the time and she eventually bought a air mattress and put in our living room floor.I was just finishing my residency and not making allot of money so she sprung for a king size bed. We realized we could still sleep together.lol

Then there was the pillow obsession with 50 of them on the bed and they would all get thrown off by the end of the night sometimes hitting me in the head.

I wish there would have been support groups for husbands of LEO back then because I was in for a shock our first few months of living together.I'd usually wake up to find the t.v very loud or her rummaging around the condo at 3,4 in the am.She has allot of injuries also but the post traumatic stress,sleep walking,and nightmares, were the worst.This was hard to deal with.

By the time we got married I was use to it,and it's not as bad with the king size bed,but there's still flailing around and talking in her sleep,and I noticed it comes around stressful work times.It started up again around the loss of are first child but we pulled through it.It seems it's gotten a little better over the past few years or maybe I'm REALLY use to it now.

I hit the pillow pretty hard so most of the time I sleep through it now.Great blog.

[Blue mood]

Don't even get me started here...never mind the nights of Cliff's snoring that still keep me up,and the memories of the condo in North Hollywood with no air conditioning in the middle of July with fans all over the apartment because the air conditioning was bad for his allergies.LOL I think me waking up at 3,4 in the am was due to me pouring sweat like I ran a marathon. Those were good times and good training days for Cliff. Now he's a trooper,and the best hidden partner a lady can ask for.

[Mich]

We have a King, but only because we have kids that like to sneak in ;-),lol.
Hubby has no problem sleeping,he goes to bed and is out like a light (and I can't stand him for that,lol).
The only problem we have once in a while,when he is stressed out,he gets nightmares .
Last month I thought he is going to wrestle me to the ground...he was sleeping and I went into the bedroom,he jumped up and started to scream,holding his blanket in front of him coming towards me....can I say scary,lol.He finally woke up and didn't know what was going on.
I'm just glad this doesn't happen very often ;-).
Maybe I should arm myself with a water-gun and squirt him,when he does this again,lol

[Cliff]

LMAO Why the hell didn't I think of that? I'm keeping a water gun on the night stand. Good story Mich.LOL

You think that's creepy? One time in the middle of the night many years ago I got this feeling that someone was watching me.I woke up to Blue standing at the end of our bed.She had been brushing her teeth,and had the tooth paste all around her mouth.The glow from the bathroom light on her face was scary.

I asked her "Is everything ok honey?" and she just stood there for a good ten seconds starring at me then she said "You're in deep do do Base Commander, come tomorrow and sort this hell hole" She dropped to the floor,grabbed our comforter off the bed and crawled down the hallway.I followed her and watched her curled up on the living room floor with the blanket,as I turned to walk away she yelled" That's a direct order Frogman!" LOL She's been known to talk to me this way while awake too so I had to figure out if she was really sleeping.LOL The next morning she didn't remember it. Good thing this doesn't happen often.

[Paige]

I don't think I can relate as much with you guys. See my boyfriend is going through the Police Academy right now and he is having restless nights sleep stressed out about the tests. We live together and have a Queen size bed and when he doesn't sleep neither do I. It gets very annoying because I wake up when he does @ 4am to make him breakfast and after that I go to work. I drag my feet at work sometimes because I am way to exhausted.

[brettdl]

That's odd, my wife isn't a police officer, and she tosses and turns just like the spouses in your comments!

[Rebecca K]

Y'all are some freaks.lol

[Natalie]

We have a queen and the first chance we get, we're getting a sleep number king-sized bed!

FH frequently gets migraines and has hypertension. He's also been known to sleepwalk since he was little, so THAT'S been fun to deal with now that he's a cop! So far nothing too weird, but he definitely gets mean really quickly on the nights he does wake up.

[Blue Bird]

LMAO...Ahhh I love this blog. Rebecca K? Wow,That's like a blast from the past!