LAPD Wife

Cooking with Giada De Laurentiis

* One of my readers e-mailed me looking for this article I'd written a few years ago. It got lost when I was in web site limbo earlier this year, so I promised to put it back up again here. Hope you all don't mind. I'm a big Giada fan, so love any chance I can take to talk about her.

I spent my Saturday afternoon this past weekend at a cooking demonstration with Giada De Laurentiis. I love to cook, love to watch the Food Network and read cookbooks like they are novels. And one of my recent favorites has been Giada and her show “Everyday Italian.”

So when my girlfriend told me that a nearby gourmet cooking store/school was hosting a limited engagement with Giada, we jumped. And barely made it in. This is a treat I rarely give myself, so I went all the way and payed the near $70 to be up and close with Giada, get a signed copy of her new cookbook - and maybe photos if we’re lucky.

We arrived for the event an hour early - and snagged the last 2 seats in the front row. We were seated at the counter, I could have reached out and touched her if I wanted to. But, as I didn’t really want to be labeled some sort of stalker, I restrained myself and just smiled, participated and ate the heavenly food that was sent my way.

Giada was fantastic. Humble, real, movie-star gorgeous yet approachable. She talked of her family, her childhood in Rome and Los Angeles, her training as a chef and her life as a tv celebrity chef. All of this while demonstrating four of the recipes from her new book. Oh yes, and fielding questions from the audience and asking for general statistics on a few of us so she could get to know who her audience was better.

The appetizer was proscuitto-wrapped roasted asparagus. Mmmmm, the salty proscuitto flavor melded with the sweet, smoky roasted asparagus. This is actually a dish I’ve tried before, after watching her make it on her show, to rave reviews from my family and friends. An easy, impressive one of casual or formal get-togethers.

Next came the Lemon Spaghetti. Yes, lemon. Sounded a big strange to me, but I like it. The pasta tossed with a light dressing of olive oil, fresh-squeezed lemon juice, parmesan and fresh basil made for a light, suprisingly tangy and refreshing dish.

The main course was chicken cacciatore. I’ve liked this dish in restaurants, but been intimidated to try it before. The beauty of many of her recipes, plus the tips she gives, makes dishes like these easier to approach. And so I made the cacciatore this weekend, serving it over orzo made with chicken broth and fresh thyme. Officer Jake gave it the thumbs-up and my kids even ate a few bites.

The finale was grilled pineapple with a Nutella topping. This is not something I would have ever tried at home. But, there it was fresh, free and made by a celebrity, so I tasted it and fell in love. I’ve never had Nutella before, it just didn’t appeal. And I still don’t think I’d eat it in a sandwich, like Giada says she’s fond of. But the smoky, sweet grilled fresh pineapple rings topped with the Nutella mixed with cream, a dollop of mascarpone cheese and a sprinkling of hazelnuts was divine. And a perfect summer bbq ending.

I really enjoyed this experience, and not just because I was star-struck. Her easy, no-fuss style of cooking appeals to me, her recipes are realistic ones I’d actually use in our daily lives and her style impressive. I’m excited to see who the next chef will be to visit. And hope to have another experience like this again soon.

School Project - Officer Jake

Officer Jake was the subject of a classroom project this week. A 11-year-old boy who lives down the block came to the door the other day asking if he could interview Jake. His class was assigned to do projects learning about professions. They were given a list of professions to pick from and this boy, thinking of cool Officer Jake down the street, picked "police officer."

It was cute watching them sit at the dining room table, facing each other. The boy with his paper and pencil, very seriously asking Jake questions about his chosen profession.

What is your favorite part of the job? - Helping people, especially children

What is the worst part of the job? - And I quote ... "Getting shot at"

New Resolutions

Every year I make resolutions.  Some I'm able to keep, others I just keep working on. I don't do the usual "lose 10 pounds" or "make tons of money" type of resolutions. I try to pick several that will improve different areas of my life: professional, personal, family, health and hobby. Sounds like a lot, but I like to think that I pick ones that are attainable and will make myself or my life better by achieving. And hey, I've got a whole year to make my goals, right?

As a recap, in 2007 I had these goals:

• Stop saying "ya" so much. This one was a resolution that took me about 3 years to achieve, but I finally did it. I rarely say the word "ya" anymore in daily conversation. I feel lazy and unappealing when it comes out of my mouth, so I worked on weaning myself from it. Whew, done.
• Plant more flowers. I have to be honest here - I didn't do well on this one. And so it's going to be a repeat goal for 2008. A simple resolution, but here's what I want to accomplish: Spend more time in my garden doing something that relaxes me, is productive, is a fun way to spend time with my kids and has an end result that we can all enjoy.
• Try to stress less. This wasn't a good goal. Too generic, I needed to make more specific goals with reducing stress in mind. And I was a total failure at this. By quitting my job, I just traded in old stresses for new ones.
• Eat healthier. Did this one, whew. More fruits and veggies are now in my diet. More trips to the farmer's market have been fun family outings with delicious side bonuses. And I felt better all around.
• Finish writing my book. Done. See the result at policewife.com. This is one accomplishment I'm most proud of.

Now, for the resolutions of 2008:

• Plant more flowers. Didn't do good at this in 2007, so it's on the list again this year. I'm going to report back here monthly and be honest about it, so maybe this will help me.
• Work more exercise into my daily routines. I've done well with last year's goal of eating better, so the next logical step is to look at my exercise routine. Which is pretty sad. We take hikes or just long walks around the neighborhood on the weekends as a family. But that's about it. My goal is to work in at least 2 more days of activity than we do now.
• Learn how to channel my stress in productive and healthy ways. This is still a pretty generic goal. There are many things I can do: take up a new hobby, exercise, get frisky with Jake more often... but I plan on reading and experimenting on ways to positively channel the stress I put myself under on a daily basis. Believe me, I'm a walking ball of stress most days. I have a million things I wake up wanting to do each day and end up stressed out by the end of the day trying to accomplish them all. I'm going to work on this, though, and share what I learn with you.

Wish me luck - and if you feel like sharing your resolutions here, I'd love to hear them. Maybe you'll inspire me.

LAT: Good Cop Makes a Bad Decision

LA Times columnist Steve Lopez's article in Sunday's Times is worth q read, if you haven't seen it already. Titled "Good Cop Makes a Bad Decision," the column caught Officer Jake's eye on Sunday. He handed me the California section of the paper after he was done, telling me it was a good read and that I should look at it. It went into my "to-do" pile and I just got around to reading it this morning during breakfast. Sorry that I took so long, I should have pointed it out to you all sooner.

Steve Lopez sat down with Officer John Hatfield, most infamously known as the officer fired after the "flashlight" incident after a high-speed suspected car thief chase. Hatfield was vilified by the media and minority communities, called a rasict and generally hung out to dry. Lopez was one of those who said that Hatfield should be fired. Today, he sits down with Hatfield, as he is currently suing the city to get his job back, and reviews the incident and everything surrounding it from the officer's perspective and other officials'. What's interesting is to see how opinions have changed and even Steve Lopez apologized to Hatfield for not seeing all the angles of what actually happened.

A police wife Valentine's Day gift idea

Guys, are you looking for the perfect present for your loving, adoring wife who has put up with your crazy schedules for so many years? Or are you newlyweds and still buying each other thoughtful, sweet gifts every other week?

Either way, Valentine's Day is coming - and you'll score major points with this gift. Who needs Build-a-Bear or the Vermont Teddy Bear Company? For half the price, your wife will love this adorable Police Wife Teddy Bear.

Check it out here at the Police Wife Store. And brace yourself for some serious smootches!

Financial Disclosure, continued

The latest press release from the Protective League:

LAPPL APPLAUDS CITY COUNCIL DECISION

Los Angeles, January 15, 2008 - In response to today's 13-0 City Council vote to reopen a discussion on the financial disclosure rules recently approved by the Police Commission, Protective League President Tim Sands has issued the following statement:

"We are gratified that common sense has at last taken hold. We agree with Jack Weiss who said, 'If this policy won't do much of anything to root out corruption, it's not a very good way to implement the consent decree.' We look forward to working with all of the members of the City Council and the Police Commission to come up with a practical response to the consent decree requirement that will also work as an effective tool to combat and prevent corruption."

Aftermath

The living room is in shambles. Satin, lace, sequins and feather boas lie flung about the room or in a twisted heap, like something left after the fury of a taffeta tornado. My dining room table has a large glob of pink goo on it, oozing periously close to the edge. Somewhere in the distance, the sounds of ballet music floats toward me. My feet ache. My back is screaming at me. And I just discovered something sticky in my hair.

My daughter turned 5 this week. Today we had a princess party for eight 4-and 5-year old girls - and one very brave, very secure in his masculinity, 4-year-old boy.

I am tired of shelling out obscene amounts of money to hire entertainers or go to the latest "hot spot" for kids' birthday parties. So I went old-school and decided to throw one myself. The theme: princess. The color: pink. My daughter has a better wardrobe than me, although her designer of choise is Disney. So we dug out her princess dresses and all the guests were able to dress up when they arrived.

I baked massive amounts of cookies, made pink and blue frosting and set it all out with jam and sprinkles. The mothers set their girls (and boy) down, stepped back quickly out of range and let them loose. They had a blast! And I bagged up the masterpieces for them to take home afterward.

We then played a princess game, let the kids run around the house a bit (our parakeet, who got out of the cage and was chased around the house by 8 screaming sequined girls, may never be the same) and then we had the cake. (Pictured above). 

Oh, if you're wondering where Officer Jake was... Our party started at 1:30. Our son was invited to attend a different party at 2:30. Both Jake and son decided (as soon as the females started arriving) that they should leave right away, in order to "get a good parking spot" at the place that was only 15 minutes away.

I let them go. There was way too much estrogen in the house today for them to fight it. And we had celebrated as a family earlier this week on her actual birthday. Hey, Officer Jake actually went into Build-A-Bear to help his daughter pick out her latest. How secure in his masculinity is that?!

Ice Storms

I've mentioned that my family still lives back in the Midwest where I grew up. Well, they were smack dab in the middle of the big ice storms that hit back there in December. I got these photos around Christmas from them, so it's a little late, but they are just too good so I had to share them.

My parents still live on the farm and they were without all power for SEVEN days! Luckily they were ready - generators, candles, lanterns, deck of cards, radio, etc. My mother said the worst thing was the boredom. Five p.m. hits and it's totally dark without power. She never wants to play another card game again. There was talk of people stealing generators, so they kept a loaded shotgun by the door and a good watch on the outbuildings. Luckily, there was no drama.

Here are the pictures from the farm, anyway. All of my California born-and-bred friends have been totally fascinated by these. For me, they just bring back fond memories of snow days, no school and crunching around on the "crispy" snow that the ice storms always created.

The first picture is a close-up of one of the apple trees in the orchard. The second pic is of the back porch - oops, forgot to put the cover on the bbq. And the last pic is of a normally majestic willow tree now loaded down with heavy ice. My parents said it sounded like gunshots throughout the day. Total silence for awhile and then - CRACK! -  a large tree limb would succumb to the heavy weight of the ice, breaking and falling to the ground. Even though ice storms cause a lot of damage and are very dangerous, I do remember the silence, awe and fascinating, icy beauty that they can create also.

Book News

My book, Police Wife, has generated more attention. The web sites lapdauthors.com and police-writers.com have highlighted "Police Wife" on their web sites. I'm very excited to be included on these sites with so many great authors and books in the world of law enforcement. (p.s. there is the very fun-sounding possibility of a BlogTalkRadio interview with me in the next few months. I'll keep you posted.)

Advice for the Rookie Family

When an officer enters a law enforcement training academy it can be both exciting and scary for both them and their family. One of the most common areas of advice asked of veteran officers and their wives is how to deal with the rookie years. Things like: What should I expect? Will he/she change? Is it worth it? How do I deal with the long hours, the uncertain moments?

Here is some advice from this veteran officer's wife - as well as golden nuggets of wisdom from other law enforcement family members I've spoken with:

> Try and attend LEO functions or get-togethers with your LEO. That way you're able to meet the men and women that he/she works with so you feel more comfortable with knowing the people that your spouse is working with. It's nice to know who will be there to back your spouse up on the streets. Also you may be able to meet other LEO wives at the functions and make some great friends.

> Educate yourself by meeting with spouses of LEOs, reading about your spouse's job so you can be understanding of the daily stresses they face. Have an open ear, they may need to vent or just spill their guts often, just be available. Most importantly remember there will be lots of changes when it comes to schedules, be patient you will get used to your new lifestyle, as we all have.

> Communication is key. Having an ongoing, open dialogue about schedules, family responsibilities, feelings, etc. is extremely important. The "honeymoon period" can be very trying for a marriage or relationship. Getting used to new schedules, new co-workers was very difficult. Learn, as a wife or partner, to be self-sufficient, independent and look for support in groups like this.

> Don't be afraid to talk to your husband about how you feel. His mind will be so full of training that he will forget that there are other people around him - not maliciously, but because of the combination of several factors such as physical exhaustion and mental exhaustion from having to be on their toes and in top condition at all times.

> When you do talk to him, try to schedule it after he's had a nap or a full night's sleep. He won't be so grumpy. I've learned that lesson anyway as I used to jump him with issues right as he walked in the door. Not the best strategy.

> Also, let him know if he is acting strangely or different and try to have an open, non-confrontational, honest discussion. He might be grumpy, moody, snappy, withdrawn, etc and not even realize it. And if you both realize it and address it, things will be better.

> My husband tends to get curt and very snappy when he's really tired or upset about something at work. After 12 years of marriage I've learned to recognize the tone of voice and recognize it for what it is. And not take it personally. I've also learned that if I just sit back and wait about 5 minutes, an apology will be coming from him saying the same thing: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lashed out at you. I'm just really ticked off about ___ at work today."

> Also, if you take the time to sit down and talk to him about something that's bothering you, you'll learn more about what's behind his actions and better understand what's going on.

> If you need help don't be afraid to ask. Most departments have great benefits when it comes to counseling services,and either you can go to counseling alone or together and it's free.

> My advice would be patience....they are going through a lot. Rookies have more to learn, other than what the academy has taught them. The street is the real world, and it's very awakening to a rookie. Be patient and understanding. If they come home in a bad mood or don't want to talk....dont pry!!! Its just a reaction to the real world of being a cop, and what they might have seen or encountered that day. There are just some things they dont want to share. Its their way of protecting you from all of the ugly things. It is a very very stressful time for them. They are just trying to learn what they have been trained to do.....so just be patient with them, and let them know you are there if they need to talk or vent.

> Don't give up on your dreams, its hard not to when you have to deal with his schedule, etc. But your dreams are just as important... And you have very right to follow them!!!

> Don't lose your identity. You have a name and it's not "that cop's wife". Yeah, its great, but you can lose yourself in that... You are a beautiful woman to put up with his crap and his job... don't lose that!!! You are just as important as he is....

> Don't ever let him give up... it's a hard job 99.9% of the time, but you and your family together can make it all worth it!

> Communication is HUGE! If you don't talk to each other things will never work. Also I have learned from seeing other couples that you can't freak out every time something happens at work. I know wives that spaz every time they hear of a shooting or of a LEO getting injured. It comes with the job and they know that we worry but you shouldn't make him feel bad about whet he does for a living! Support him and tell him that he is your HERO even if the profession doesn't always get the respect it deserves.

> Communication, support and just very strong unconditional love. I think that about covers it!

> You need to give him lots of understanding. If you have plans to go out, and hes had a call just before the end of shift, and now hes an hour and a half late, get use to it. Its not his fault, its his job! What it all comes down to is, stand by your man! Thats what he needs. And if you have children be prepared to be a "married single mom"!