LAPD Wife

Got the Fever?

As I sat at a stop sign waiting to make a left, I heard sirens approaching and saw an officer on a motorcycle driving Code 3. I patiently waited for him to pass. Traffic was light, no big delay here, right?

As the officer passed me on the 3-lane street, I noticed that the lone car in front of him was in the far left lane - the same one occupied by the officer running with lights and sirens and obviously on his way to a call.

I was shocked as I watched the driver move erratically, first swerving half into the lane to the right, then back into the left lane, cutting off the officer. The officer had to slow down, I don’t blame him. It was hard to figure out what the driver was going to do. He laid on his horns, the lights and sirens still blasting.

Still swerving between lanes, obviously undecided on what to do, the driver made the brilliant decision to slow down and then STOP right in the middle of the far left lane, right in FRONT of the officer.

The officer managed to finally get the car to move out of the way with a combination of loud speaker commands, arm gestures and flames shooting from his eye sockets.

I was half in shock and half cracking up. I mean, really, this is stuff you learn in basic driver’s education classes. Carefully move to the freaking right of the road!

I called Jake on my cell and replayed the scene for him. He wasn’t that surprised. “Oh right,” he said. “That’s what we call black-and-white fever.” People see a police car behind them going Code 3 and they get a sudden case of the stupids.

Apparently this happens a lot. Jake can’t count how many times he’s been answering a call with full lights and sirens and watched people deliberately NOT get out of the way, not pull over to the side and be inconvenienced by having their precious routine interrupted.

According to him, this is one sure way to guarantee yourself a ticket, if there is another car around who isn’t responding to the call. He’s pulled over many himself who he’s seen fail to yield to an ambulance or fire truck. When they are defensive and act as if they’ve done nothing wrong, they seal their fate. Having a momentary lapse of judgment and hesitating to pull over is one thing. Flagrantly continuing on your way, heedless of the lights you see in your rearview is another.

More on Financial Disclosure Issue

I missed this earlier, but this opinion piece ran in the Los Angeles Times Dec 19. Still worth the read and a great take on the issue:

A Bad Way to Lose Good Cops: Gang and narcotics officers won't stand for a financial snooping requirement. By Celeste Fremon.

Personal note: By the way, Officer Jake has decided not to sign if it comes down to it. In simple terms, this just isn't right.

Christmas Eve Tour

This was sent to me by a reader via email today. Good read at the holidays:

In 1974 when I first joined the police department, I knew there would be special occasions my family would spend without me. Knowing that fact didn’t make the task any easier. The celebrations I missed those first years depressed me and sometimes made me feel bitter. Working on Christmas Eve was always the worst.

On Christmas Eve in 1977, I learned that blessing can come disguised as misfortune, and honor is more than just a word. I was riding a one man patrol on the 4 to 12 shift. The night was cold. Everywhere I looked I saw reminders of the holiday: families packing their cars with presents, beautifully decorated trees in living room windows and roofs adorned with tiny sleighs. It all added to my holiday loneliness. The evening had been relatively quiet; there were the usual calls for barking dogs and a residential false burglar alarm. There was nothing to make the night pass any quicker. I thought of my own family and it saddened me further.

Shortly after 2200 hours, I got a radio call to the home of an elderly, terminally ill man. I parked my patrol car in front of a simple Cape Cod style home. First aid kit in hand, I walked up the short path to the front door. As I approached, a woman who seemed to be about 80 years old opened the door. “He's in here,” she said, leading me to a back bedroom.

We passed through a living room that was furnished in a style I had come to associate with older people. The sofa has an afghan blanket draped over its back and a dark solid Queen Anne chair sat next to an unused fireplace. The mantle was cluttered with an eccentric mix of several photos, some ceramic figurines and an antique clock. A floor lamp provided soft lighting.

We entered a small bedroom where a frail looking man lay in bed with a blanket pulled up to his chin. He wore a blank stare on his ashen, skeletal face. His breathing was shallow and labored. He was barely alive. The trappings of illness were all around his bed. The nightstand was littered with a large number of pill vials. An oxygen bottle stood nearby. Its plastic hose, with facemask attached rested on the blanket.

I asked the old woman why she called the police. She simply shrugged and nodded sadly toward her husband, indicating it was his request. I looked at him and he stared intently into my eyes. He seemed relaxed now. I didn’t understand the suddenly calm expression on his face.

I looked around the room again. A dresser stood along the wall to the left of the bed. On it was the usual memorabilia: ornate perfume bottles, white porcelain pin case, and a wooden jewelry case. There were also several photos in simple frames. One caught my eye and I walked closer to the dresser for a closer look. The picture showed a young man dressed in a police uniform. It was unmistakably a photo of the man in bed. I knew then why I was there.

I looked at the old man and he motioned with his hand toward the side of the bed. I walked over and stood beside him. He slid a thin arm from under the covers and took my hand. Soon I felt his hand go limp, I looked at his face. There was no fear there. I saw only peace. He knew he was dying; he was aware his time was very near. I know now that he was afraid of what was about to happen and he wanted the protection of a fellow cop on his journey. A caring God had seen to it that his child would be delivered safely to him. The honor of being his escort fell to me.

When I left at the end of my tour that night, the temperature had seemed to rise considerably, and all the holiday displays I saw on the way home made me smile.

I no longer feel sorry for myself for having to work on Christmas Eve. I have chosen an honorable profession. I pray that when it's my turn to leave this world, there will be a cop there to hold my hand and remind me that I have nothing to fear.

I wish all my brother's and sister's who have to work this Christmas Eve all the Joy and Warmth of the Season.

-- Author Unknown – Just a Cop

Marines in the House

Things have been hectic here, which means I haven't had as much time to write. We're literally on the way out the door in 15 minutes, but thought I'd check in and let you all know how I'm doing. My in-law's are here - Officer Jake's parents. It's very sweet, they've spent the first day with their noses in my new book, reading all about our life together and having a great time of it. (It's funny, I was worried for a minute, thinking "Oh, no, did I write anything bad about them in the book?") But so far, so good. They seem to like it. And I value their opinion - Jake's Dad was a career New York detective and Jake's mom a career police wife, so they know the subject matter in and out for sure.

Christmas Eve we do a new family tradition I started years ago of a large Spanish Paella. Then we have an even bigger dinner with turkey and ham for extended family on Christmas Day. And that extended family keeps getting bigger every day. What started out as a cozy dinner for 8 is now about 20 people and counting. I'm going to have to hit the stores again. I don't mind, I love having everyone out, but I guarantee I'll knock myself out cooking.

The most exciting addition is our nephew, a new Marine recruit, just out of his basic training and recently transferred to Twenty Nine Palms. And by recent, I mean only a few days ago. His family is from the East Coast and he'd hoped to be with them on Christmas. Now here he is, with no plans and no idea what to do.

Officer Jake and Renee to the rescue! Our nephew only has a 24-hour pass on Christmas Day. He is released at around 10 p.m. on Christmas Eve. Jake is going to drive out to get him and bring him to our house for the day. I told him that if he has any other friends out there without a place to go that he can bring one more person.

So they will arrive (hopefully) by 1 or 2 a.m. back at the house. Then up in the morn, open presents, eat a lot, teach the kids vulgar cadence count songs, eat some more, make the younger kids march around or something and then back in the car with Jake and Grandpa to head back to the good 'ol Mojave desert. But at least he'll be with family on Christmas Day - and I think he's very relieved.

I'm scrambling to buy him some presents and his father has overnighted some gifts as well as a fully-stuffed stocking to us so we'll have everything under the tree for him. I also plan on sending him back to the base with lots of home-baked goodies and treats.

Which reminds me - any Marines or family of Marines out there? What are good gifts for a 19-year-old  Marine? I need ideas for stuff under $50 if you have any. Email me at renee@lapdwife.com or leave a comment here below.

I'm in my usually baking extravaganza mode right now. Will take pictures and post them here later. Hope that everyone else is having a fun and happy holiday season. Merry Christmas!

Latest on Financial Disclosure Issue

Here's the latest press release from the Police Protective League:

MASS EXODUS OF OFFICERS EXPECTED DUE TO NEW FINANCIAL DISCLOSURE RULES

Officers leaving specialized units is like the canary in the coal mine

Los Angeles, December 19, 2007 - Over five hundred LAPD officers in specialized units including gang enforcement and narcotics may request transfers or retire rather than submit to the draconian financial disclosures requirements that are about to be implemented by the LAPD by order of the Police Commission.

The LAPD is moving forward on financial disclosures despite five years of negotiations in which the Police Protective League argued that the requirements are overly intrusive and lacking in checks and balances, and despite clear signals that this move will result in qualified officers choosing to leave the units that are affected. The staggered roll-out will mean a gradual but steady erosion of talent and experience from the units, as experienced officers will come up for reassignment and will request other assignments that do not come with the financial and personal risk of identity theft.

The disclosure requirements do not include stipulations about who in the LAPD will be handling financial records, or how their security will be maintained. Officers point to the considerable number of cases nationwide of identity theft that have been perpetrated by workers in a position of trust, as well as documented cases of theft and poor records management at Parker Center and in other City Departments.

Also of concern is the vulnerability of officers' records to Pitchess motions. Pitchess motions allow defendants in criminal cases to view the personnel records of law enforcement personnel involved in their cases. Although the inherent intent of Pitchess motions is to expose police misconduct, the threshold for reporting is exceptionally low: the possibility of police misconduct is enough evidence to force disclosure of police personnel records, meaning that virtually any defendant could force any arresting officer to share his personnel records, including financial disclosure forms. In essence, officers will be exposing every aspect of their life.

"We have seen courts repeatedly allow gang members and others to manipulate the system to target officers-sometimes with the encouragement of misguided attorneys. We have little confidence that the courts will be able to safeguard the personal financial privacy of officers," says Tim Sands, President of the Police Protective League. "The financial disclosures rules that the LAPD is about to implement opens the Pandora's box - once someone's financial information is available and public, there is no way to turn back and make it private again," added Sands.

"No other law enforcement agency in the country forces its officers to share this kind of information. Our officers do not have to put up with this politically-motivated voyeurism: any other law enforcement agency in the country would be glad to hire these officers and give them a raise," said Sands. "Even worse, for all of its negative impact, this deeply offensive intrusion into the private lives of officers, their spouses and their children will do nothing to route out corruption. Looking at bank account records is a completely ineffective way at looking for cash payouts. The truth of the matter is this - there are check and balances in place to prevent corruption," continued Sands.

"Perhaps the virtual elimination of specialty gang and drug units, which will occur upon implementation of the financial disclosure rules, will be the canary in the coal mine to awaken officials and community leaders to the inherent problems with the more onerous and dangerous consent decree requirements, such as financial disclosure regulations," concluded Sands.

Crazy Schedules

I have a few girlfriends who want me to have lunch with them some day. Or go out for “girls night.” I never do. My job would allow me the ability to work an earlier schedule so that I could get home to my kids that much quicker. But I can’t so I don’t.

There’s a scrap booking class I’d like to take. The teacher guarantees that I can get my children’s albums put together if I attend every Thursday night for one month. I can’t. My kids albums will have to wait until I’m in a nursing home and have more time.

I really want to work out more. I can’t leave the kids in the house alone to go running, so it’s off to the treadmill for me. But the only time I can treadmill is at night. Either the kids or Jake are in bed early, so I can’t - too noisy.

I really need to shop. Not the usual groceries and Target stuff, but shop for me. Clothes, shoes, sparkly stuff. I realized the other day that one of my favorite blazers I wear for work pre-dates Jake. (If anyone is new here, that’s over 12 years old. Fashion horrors!) But lately Jake’s been working a lot of late hours. He’s home during the day, which you would think means he can watch the kids so I can shop. But unfortunately he’s sound asleep or really worn out from all the overtime and I feel guilty leaving him with two young ones to manage.

We want to attend a sporting event. It’s on a weekday night. We may actually do it, but it’s taken a month of NASA-precision planning and will involve an intricate dance of babysitters, day care, next door neighbors and work schedules to get us there.

And so I found myself complaining to Jake tonight as we were getting ready for bed “WE ARE NOT NORMAL.” I guess I really was complaining that we don’t have normal schedules. We both work, but our jobs are not the normal 9-to-5s that a lot of other people have. We aren’t home or available on weekday evenings like others for little dinners, workshops or meetings.

I love the LAPD Wives Association, but haven’t been able to make as many meetings as I would like because Jake hasn’t been home to watch the kids for me. And that’s on Saturdays. For most other people I’m betting that would be a piece of cake.

Some of our acquaintances think we’re snobs or unsociable because we turn down their party invitations so often. Or can’t make their brunches. But it’s hard to admit that even if our schedules do mesh and we are miraculously available, we’re often so tired or just want to be alone so much that we choose to not go out. Or just go out alone.

That’s another thing. We really have to work at keeping the intimacy in our marriage. And no, I don’t mean that kind of intimacy. I mean the whispered pillow talk, replays of the day during dinner, talking about the kids’ latest antics over breakfast, sitting in the sun in the back yard and dreaming of putting in a jacuzzi some day. That daily sharing of thoughts, plans and just talking face-to-face that I used to take for granted. There are many days when I only talk to Jake on the phone and only see him physically as he either slides into bed in the middle of the night or I kiss him goodbye while he’s still sleeping as I head off to work.

I know I should suck it up, but every once in awhile I reserve my right to wallow in self-pity. Because of Jake’s all-over-the-place schedule and mine that morphs constantly to adapt, I don’t attend meetings or activities I really want to go to, things that are simple for other “traditional” couples require intricate strategies to get accomplished and I’m constantly tip-toeing around the house when I’d rather be on the treadmill working out or vacuuming or just singing along with the radio at full volume.

Then again, the silver lining here is that I cherish the moments we are all together so much the more. And look to make the most of them whenever the moments present themselves.

Financial Disclosure Update

The latest update from the Police Protective League:

The final proposed financial disclosure program for Gangs and Narcotics Units will be presented to the Los Angeles Police Commission on Friday, December 21, 2007. Your League will aggressively move forward with our action plan and will take our position against this unfair and illegal program to the public via radio and print media. In addition, we have authorized our attorneys to proceed with a lawsuit in Superior Court on behalf of concerned LAPPL members on December 20th.

All League members will soon receive a letter by mail from PresidentTim Sands documenting specific details regarding the League's position on the financial disclosure proposal. To view the complete financial disclosure proposal and President Sands' letter to the members, please visit the "Members Only" section of the League's website at www.lapd.com.

Girl Scout Helps Children and Police at Once

Great story from Dennic McCarthy at the LA Daily News - check it out:

They call it the soft room - a small, special area inside each police station that has a few toys and children's books scattered around to help officers get to the truth. Help the Los Angeles Police Department find out what caused those cigarette burns on a child's arms or that fear in a child's eyes.

It's the room Ashley McCarley walked into at LAPD's Devonshire Division in August, and she asked Officer Jeff Branson if he could use some help. She was a 17-year-old Girl Scout trying to earn her Gold Award - the highest honor given in Girl Scouts for community service - and she wasn't having much luck, she said. ...

Read the rest of the story here.

The Gratitude Campaign

Check out this site: http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/. A lot of people are thinking of our soldiers at this time of year, here's a neat way to say "thanks" next time you pass some by when they are on their holiday break.

A Gift for Our Men and Women in Blue

At a doctor's appointment once my husband, Jake, was confronted with a situation I'm sure a lot of officers can relate to. This was a checkup relating to an ongoing IOD case Jake has been dealing with. A nurse was reviewing Jake’s work history with him, and so knew he was LAPD.

Jake was picking up strong signals of dislike from her and, having never met her before, figured she probably had a chip on her shoulders against officers. He was on target, because when it came up that he worked Narcotics, she put down her chart and asked him if she could pose a work-related question. And then started to vent.

She was concerned about an apartment building on her street where she suspected illegal activities were taking place. She called her local police station and told the desk officers of the situation, asking what could be done. They took her information and told her it would be looked into as soon as possible. She didn’t hear back from them and wasn't made aware of any efforts to look into the situation.

Calling the station back and complaining about what she felt was a lack of attention and/or respect from the officers brought her no results. And so she became bitter and disillusioned about the police department as a whole, telling everyone her story about how the police don't care about the citizens in her area and how useless it was to try to get them to help. Which explained her simmering resentment when dealing with Jake during this appointment.

After telling her story, my husband was sympathetic and ran through some possible options with her. He suggested that she call the station again, but this time ask to speak to the Senior Lead Officer for her neighborhood. Another idea was to write a letter to her City Councilman.

She was amazed at the amount of time Jake spent talking to her trying to help. She apologized for her resentment and thanked him for taking the time to listen. "I guess not all cops are so bad," she said on her way out.

I was proud of him as he told me the story that evening, knowing how much he hates sitting at the doctor's. Technically, he was off-duty and didn't need to help her. He could have ignored her and picked up the nearest Sports Illustrated, but he didn't.

Really, when are officers ever truly off-duty when it comes to how they present themselves and represent the department? It may not be fair, but it's the way it is. As soon as people find out you are an officer, you are held to higher standards and watched much more than the average citizen.

Flash forward to a month later: same doctor's office, same nurse walks in. Actually, she practically bounced in, very excited to see Jake. She enthusiastically told my husband how she took his advice and talked to the SLO, who graciously heard her out and helped look into the problem in her neighborhood. She was ecstatic, to say the least.

"And," she gushed, "I've been telling everyone I know how great you were and that there are a lot of great cops out there who really can help us." This was a total turnaround from the previous appointment. Again, as I listened to Jake's story that evening, I thought about how by doing this one little thing he's probably helped out a lot of his fellow officers without knowing it. Because positive interactions like this can have a snowball effect. Her friends and family will tell their friends and family about the officer who took the time to help out. Off duty, no less.

And when those people next cross paths with LAPD officers, maybe they will be more likely to give them a smile or a firm handshake and a thank you.

It seems like every holiday season people are either crazy happy with the spirit of the season or really cranky and miserable. I know Jake has experienced this first hand on the job. He is either buried under mounds of cookies and fruitcakes brought to the stations or dealing with a higher number of domestic abuse cases, suicides or other incidents stemming from the depression that all this holiday cheer can backlash into.

 

A gift officers can give both to their fellow officers and to the community is to strive to be upstanding, helpful, approachable representatives of the department. By doing this, like my husband inadvertently did, they can help out their fellow officers and the community they serve by fostering better relations between the two, who are too often at odds. Citizens can feel better able to approach officers and trust more that their concerns will at least be met with respect and concern. And officers can feel less demonized by the public, even more appreciated and trusted. Now that would make for some Happy Holidays.

*This article is a reprint from 2005 and was also published in the LAPD publication The Blue Line.